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4: Choices

 

Imagine for a second: the freeway offramp that you use to get back home. Maybe there a few options. Think about how often you turn onto that road. Think about the comfort and stability that you feel when you drive on it after a long day out, or exciting yet tiring vacation. Think about the freeway signs that tell you you're getting closer. The small bump in the pavement that causes your car to rumble. The lane that always seems to be closed for construction. The random yet familiar arrangement of bushes on the side of a nearby hill.

But then think about the strangers to your town. People that drive past that offramp on their commute. A family on a road trip. A family moving somewhere new. To them, your offramp is just another sign to pass by. Another thing that isn't home. The bump in the freeway is just an annoyance. The closed lane is just a barrier. The bushes are just an observation, if at all.

They have no idea what it means to you. 

When you fill their shoes, however, the same thoughts remain. As you visit an unknown location, witnessing the winding roads and towns, you pass by thousands of places that hold the same emotional weight to others that your own home does to you. But you feel nothing. It's just another thing in the way of you being where you need to be.

Sometimes you go somewhere new and think about how truly lost you are in that particular location. How disoriented you feel. But know that someone might have felt truly lost, like you do now, until they ended up where you are now. You feel nothing, and they feel everything. Yet the substance of your shared location is unchanged.

But what about friends?

Imagine walking down the street with your best friend. You enjoy each other's company and shared history. But what single decision that you could have made years ago have been all it took to make this person a complete stranger?

It's weird to think about the people you love most as just strangers. But in reality, 99.99% of the world does. In fact it's all they can do.

Furthermore, think about all the little interactions with strangers you had today. Sitting next to them. Waiting behind them in line. Holding the door for them. Is it possible that one single decision you didn't make years ago prevented you two from becoming friends? Would it have caused you to say "hey, how's it going?" today instead of nothing at all?

We think every day about the consequences of our actions. We imagine how our lives will be if we make a decision. We evaluate potential outcomes on the brink of an important choice. We form expectations and plans.

Even so, we are ruled by our subconscious. The thousands of decisions we make daily that we never think about. What if you did something today so menial you can't even remember it, but in doing so set off a butterfly effect that will monumentally change the course of your life in the near future? Is it possible to enumerate how many decisions we make in a given day and how many of them we actually think about consciously? The ones we don't think about seem unremarkable, yes. But they speak to our character. They've already been programmed. Despite our best efforts, they show who we really are.

Sometimes people ask if free will even exists, or if every outcome can be traced back to a predictable event. I personally do believe that free will is a thing. But... does it even matter? Freedom is crucial to the human spirit. It allows us to achieve amazing things never thought possible before.

But what if, fundamentally, our fate is sealed by actions we take every day and never even think twice about? Is there even a point then? 

Look, I really don't know what you're meant to get out of this. If it's existential dread, then so be it. But I'd rather you take a light-hearted approach. Take a step back, and realize that every choice you make, regardless of intent, has impact. How you interact with the world and the humans in it creates ripples, and sometimes the ripples bounce back to you. That's not an excuse to overthink everything you do. You have no way of knowing the impacts you may have. Instead, be proud that, no matter how small you feel, even your faintest whispers will echo across the room. 


Jabe






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